Hurting and Healing
by Catherine Willmon 2013
Summary: REPOSTED! Sequel to 'Hurting'. Olivia's life is all good. But, we all know she's still hurting. Even though she lost her son, shocking secrets will open the floodgates for her to finally heal. And, as always, please R&R!
1. Introduction

**Title: Hurting and Healing**

**Characters/Parings: Elliot/Olivia; Munch/Alex Cabot; Chester/Casey; Fin/Melinda; Dean Porter; Darren Porter; Renee Porter; Bobby/Alex Eames; Mike/Carolyn; Cragen/Donnelly; Isabella Stabler (Elliot and Olivia's daughter); Jason Porter (Dean and Olivia's son)**

**Rating: Strong PG-13/Strong R**

**Disclaimer: I only own Darren, Renee, Isabella and Jason. The rest belong to Dick Wolfe.**

**Setting: Six months after Elliot and Olivia's wedding and the birth of Isabella (told from Olivia's POV).**

**Spoilers/Notes: Olivia now lives in Queens. The parings that I have are either married or engaged. **

**Summary: Sequel to 'Hurting'. Olivia's life is all good. But, we all know her past has come back to haunt her. Even though she lost her son, shocking secrets will actually open the floodgates for her to finally heal. **

**Author's note: The sequel will be slow in developing because there are a lot of questions that need to be answered. Hopefully, this one will turn out to be just as good, if not better than my first story. I still can't believe I got 232 reviews. What a huge accomplishment!**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Stabler residence**

**Queens, New York**

**November 15, 2007**

Hello, all! My name is Olivia Benson. I now go by Olivia Stabler because I'm a happily newlywed mother.

That's right; I said it. I'm a happily newlywed mother.

Six months ago, in front of my friends and immediate family, I married the love of my life, the man of my dreams, my best friend and soul mate, Elliot Stabler. Prior to our wonderful wedding, I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl I named Isabella Sarah Marie Stabler. I named her middle name Sarah after Elliot's daughter Sarah, who died almost four years ago in a horrible car crash. Her death devastated him to the core because even though he didn't have the best relationship with his ex, he loved his daughter. He lived for her everyday.

I know what it's like to lose a child. Over a year ago, my beautiful baby boy, Jason Michael Porter, who still means the world to me, was taken away from me. My ex-husband, former FBI agent turned hit man Dean Porter killed our son under the orders of his father, mob king Darren Porter because he didn't want Jason to take over the family. I thought he was insane.

I was devastated when I heard the news. And it had to come from my adopted father, who also happens to be my boss at work. I couldn't function right since then. I started self-destructing. I drank to numb my pain, I cut myself to feel better and I wound up in the hospital twice after I was attacked in Elliot's home; first by several stray bullets, then by my father, who managed to escape from prison.

I'd visit Jason's grave site everyday since his death. I still have his favorite teddy bear with me. I still cry myself to sleep every night. I thought I was never gonna recover from losing my son. I'm still carrying the emotional scars from losing him. Hell, I'm still carrying the emotional scars from an abusive relationship I endured at the hands of Dean.

And, then, my shameful and hurtful past was revealed. My ex-husband hired a private investigator and managed to dig up some dirt on me. He found out that my rapist father forced my mother to marry him when he found out that she was pregnant with me. He found out that my father became abusive after they got married. He found out that my father raped me several times in my teenage years. He also found out that my father pimped me out. Furthermore, he managed to track my father down and helped him escape, thus, he managed to find me. Hadn't been for Elliot to come in to rescue me, my father would've raped me again. But, alas, that never happened and I was grateful my man came in to stop my crazy father.

I wasn't about to be a special victim once again. I became a cop so I can fight for the victims. I was determined to fight for myself for a change. I wasn't about to become a victim all over again.

I was so sure that Elliot hated me. I finally realized how much I really loved him. He was there for me in my time of need. He held out his arms for me to go in. I knew I was in love with him, but at the time, I couldn't do anything about it because of my abusive marriage to Dean and the fact I was losing my mind over losing my beautiful son.

Then, I was even more shocked when I found out that Dean was a hit man. He was ordered by his father to kill me and Jason, but they ended up having a falling out, which resulted in Dean raping his sister Renee (whom he never got along with) and then 'killed' her. But, she turned out to be alive and living in WPP. However, Dean found out and sent someone to kill her, but she got away before that happened.

Then, I was kidnapped. My ex and his father took turns beating the crap out of me. I thought Elliot and the others would never find me, but they did. That's what I love about my husband. He never gave up on me. He was gonna find me, no matter what.

Now, I can say I'm happy, but I'm not fully content. I lost my son, Elliot lost his daughter and even though Dean and his father are in jail, even I'll admit; I'm still scared of them. Having to deal with the Porter family was pure hell. I thought I was gonna die. I have my wonderful husband, two adoring sisters, a mother and father who truly loves me and friends who will bend over backwards to make sure I'm safe.

However, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew something bad is about to happen. Along with that, I'm gonna discover some shocking truths that will open the door for me to heal.

I know I'm gonna go through hell. I'm gonna be exploiting many emotions here. But, this time, I have Elliot at my side. I'm happy because I have him and I have my beautiful daughter Isabella. They both mean the would to me. I love them both.

Furthermore, I had to thank my drunken stupor abusive mother Serena and my rapist abusive father Lance for bringing me into this world. Even though they both hurt me so badly, I was able to stay strong and leave that situation without looking back.

Now, I was ready to face any challenges that awaits me.

But, what I'm about to face goes beyond my expectations.

This is my story.

**This is an introduction story. The action kicks off in the next chapter! Stay tuned!**

**Please review!**


	2. Escape

**I'm back. Like I said before, the sequel will be slow in developing because I have so many twists and turns to dish out. It's gonna be shocking to say the least. Furthermore, I'm thinking since I didn't kill Dean and his father in the last story, I'm thinking about doing them in this time, that way Olivia won't have to worry about them coming after her anymore. Besides, she's not alone. She has Elliot's fine ass!**

**Enjoy and happy reading!**

**Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!**

**X**

**Stabler residence**

**Queens, New York**

**November 30, 2008**

**Olivia's POV**

I love the times I'd spend bonding with my Isabella Sarah Marie. She was the joy of my life. I was at home, playing with her. Because I'm a mother again, I asked my captain (and adopted father) to cut down my hours so I can be at home with my baby more often. I was even more surprised that he gave it to me because he knew how much I wanna be there for her. Hell, he gave me less hours when I had Jason.

Isabella was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen in my life. She's my mini me in so many ways, but she has our stubbornness and her father's temper. All in all, she was a wonderful baby who brought joy in our lives. She was the key who brought me and Elliot closer together.

"Issy, you're so cute. I love you, my special little girl. Yes I do," I cooed to her. She giggled and smiled at me as I kept pinching her chubby little cheeks. One of the best things about her is she makes these cute little faces and balls her hands up into tiny fists. Elliot and I would get a kick out of seeing her nose turn up playfully. God, she was so cute. I can't believe she's here in our lives. Isabella's the reason why I'm standing on my feet today. I just love her so much.

"Mommy loves you, baby. Yes, she do," I cooed at her some more. Issy just smiled at me and held out her arms. How could I ever refuse to hold my daughter in my arms? I reached down and picked her up out of the crib, then I held her against me. Issy laid her head against my shoulder and started making cute little noises that I loved so much.

"Baby, I'm home," I heard my husband yell. A moment later, he appeared, looking so handsome that I wanted to drop everything and take him right there and then. Have you seen Elliot Stabler lately? He shouldn't be a cop; he should be a model or something. A nude model, nonetheless.

"Hey, honey," I said happily, greeting him with a kiss. He smiled when he pulled away from and saw Issy's face light up at the sight of him. Oh, yes, she's daddy's little girl to the core.

"Aren't you happy to see me, huh?" he cooed at her. I can tell she wanted to be held by him, so I handed her over to him and smiled brightly. We were a happy little family and it showed.

"How was work today?" I asked as we sat down on the couch.

"Really good. Remember that contest the squad had? You know the one where you'd be named the sexiest cop in New York City? Well, on a bar bet, I entered," he confessed, blushing furiously.

"You did? Elliot, what happens if you win?" I asked, looking curious and excited at the same time. I knew he was gonna win because he's just too damn fine to lose anything. Come on, look at him. He's clean cut, chiseled and fit all rolled up into one delicious treat. Sometimes, I'd pinch myself because I get to make love to him on a nightly basis.

"There's a photo shoot. And your profile is featured for some national magazine. I don't know, I didn't think about it too much. I just entered it just for the hell of it," he smirked at me. Cocky bastard.

I leaned over and kissed him softly. "Baby, if you win, think of how many women would want you. Of course, they can't have you because you're all mine. Come on, El, what the worse that could happen? Even if you don't win, you're already a winner in my eyes because you're so freaking hot, I can't stand it sometimes."

Elliot couldn't help but grin at me. He knew I was right. He was already a winner because he was a proud husband and father. He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine in such a passionate way that made me weak in the knees. I knew I had to have him now.

"Let's put Issy to bed," I suggested with a grin on my face.

He got the hint right away. He kissed me one more time as we both stood up. Within minutes, we were upstairs, putting Issy to bed.

X

**Rikers Island Correctional Facility**

**Dean Porter's cell**

**Manhattan, New York**

**November 30, 2008**

**3****rd**** person's POV**

Chaos ensued behind the walls of Rikers. All you could hear was inmates fighting with guards to ensure their protection and safety from them. This is the fifth time in only a month that a prison riot broke out and it was getting worse and worse by the second. Before long, 20 inmates and 12 guards were murdered, leaving a long trail of blood behind them.

Dean chose not to be part of the riots. He kept to himself, not talking to anyone and he refused to join a clique or gang for protection. If there's one thing he learned from being in the FBI, is that you should trust no one. Look out for yourself, because someone can come along and betray you without a second thought. God, sometimes he wished he could change what he had done, but he knew that wasn't gonna happen.

A part of him felt he should've never listened to her father in the first place. He knew Darren was bad news, but he was the patriarch of the family so what he said went. Dean wanted to kill him because he made his life a living hell. He should've took care of his ex-wife all by himself and be done with it, but her new husband and his cronies made sure they didn't get away with murder. Now, father and son was not too far from each other, though Dean refused to speak to his father.

Then, there was Olivia. The woman he should've never married. But, she was the mother of his son; a son he killed because his father told him to do it. If he really thought about it, she was nothing more than a suitable bed mate to him; something to keep him satisfied until he got tired of her and moved on. But, that never happened. He wounded up falling in love with the bitch, knocked her up and married her without a second thought.

_This is all her fault. If I should've just killed her, I'd be in Paris right away, enjoying life and marry a beautiful woman. Even though Olivia's beautiful, my love for her was lost. I'd only stayed with her for the sake of our son. But, then, my temper got the best of me and I ended up taking my frustration out on her. Well, now, she got what she want now. She has Elliot and she has a new baby. But, she's gonna pay for doing this to me. She's gonna find out when. She's gonna get what's coming to her; and that's goes for her man-whore husband as well._

"Hey, man, we're getting out of here. You wanna come?" one of the inmates panted when he arrived a moment later. He was running for his life.

"You're escaping?" Dean asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah, man. You comin'? Man, I have some unfinished business to take care of. Word is, your old man's joining the fun. Said he has some unfinished business himself. Said some lady cop screwed him," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

_Son of a bitch! My father's gonna escape! Well, if he's gonna do it, I should, too, _Dean thought, anger boiling in his veins. He reached behind him and grabbed his jacket, then he slipped it on and stood up from his bunk bed. Since the riot wasn't gonna die down anytime soon, what better way than to make an escape during a hostile time? He decided now was the time to put his revenge plot in motion.

"Let's go," he breathed with an evil smile on his face.

Dean and several other inmates tried so hard not to be seen. With the riot still going on, they managed to slip through hostility with no problems.

The fight spilled outside, but the escaping inmates went the other way and climbed through the fence. Once they were completely out of sight, they took off running, never looking back.

Dean did look over his shoulder just once before he crashed into someone hard. He looked up and groaned when he realized that he crashed into his father.

"Dean, I'm not surprised you joined in," Darren smirked. Dean just wanted to slap the smirk off his father's face.

"Listen, don't talk to me. I've got some unfinished business to take care of and I'm gonna do it by myself," Dean seethed as they continued to run.

"You're going after Olivia, son? I wouldn't bother, because I'm going after her," Darren snapped.

Dean stopped in his tracks and glared at his father. "Listen, Father, what happened between me and my ex-wife is none of your fucking business, so I suggest for you to back the fuck off me. This is my fight, not yours!"

"On the contrary, my boy, she's my problem, too. She ruined my family's good name. And you're no better than her. You married her and knocked her up. Your mother was right. You should've married someone else. Think of how much power you would've had. Instead, you married a gold-digging whore, who's life was so fucked up that she damned near took her own life. Look, I know you don't like me right now; hell, I don't like you, but we can work together to bring Olivia Benson down. I still have friends in high places. Once we take care of her, we're leaving the country. What do you say? Can we work together?" Darren asked, looking hopeful.

Dean looked at his father like he was crazy, delusional or loopy. After what he tried to do, he really expects his son to give in and work together? He didn't think so. He wasn't about to fall for his tricks once again.

"Just think about it. If you can find me, I'll be at our old home. Renee's been taking care of your mother lately. Phyllis would love to see you again," Darren said before he took off running once again.

Dean stood there for a moment, contemplating whether he should go and see his mother again. A part of him didn't want to, because of his bitch ass sister. He has an ax to grind with her as well, for opening her big mouth and for trying to kill him as well! He didn't know what to do.

Realizing that if he stood there any longer, he's gonna get caught. Dean took a deep breath before he charged up and started running once again.

Phase one of seeking revenge against Olivia Benson was now complete.

X

**Stabler residence**

**Queens, New York**

**November 30, 2008**

**Olivia's POV**

I swear to you, Elliot's trying to kill me.

With his lips working its magic on me, I thought I was gonna die. His oh-so-talented mouth was driving me crazy. His hands are just as talented as well. Caressing my body gently, I was melting into a pool of lust and desire. I was burning with desire and it showed because I withered underneath his hard naked body in bed and I broke out into a huge sweat.

We couldn't wait another minute to have each other. As soon as we put Issy to bed, we were all over each other. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other as we reached the bed in a frantic manner. Elliot and I couldn't get enough of each other.

I squealed with delight when he suddenly slid inside of me. I wrapped my legs over his back and moaned softly. I didn't wanna wake Issy up, so we were trying to be quiet as possible. But, come on, we can't keep quiet when it come to lovemaking. We're freaks in the sacks and we know it.

Tossing and turning all over the bed, Elliot and I didn't lose a damn thing. God, I love this man. I love everything about him. I love the way he makes me scream. He pisses me off at times, but he'd always find a way to make me not be mad at him anymore. And I love that he's the only person who can withstand me whenever that time of the month comes. Matter of fact, he'd always have my favorite chocolate candy bar in handy when that time comes. He knows me so well.

Even though we've only been married for six months, I feel like we've been married forever. Seriously, it's like we knew each other all our lives. That's how Elliot makes me feel. I feel so special and prized whenever I'm in his arms.

When we were finished, we laid, sated limbs still attached together. I laid my head against his chest and sighed deeply. I feel so contented right now. I felt as though nothing could go wrong.

Boy, I was about to find out the hard way.

X

**Office of Agent Hilary Jones**

**FBI headquarters**

**Washington, D.C.**

**December 1, 2008**

"All the alerts have been handed out. This man is dangerous and his father's no better. We're gonna be on guard until both of them are caught," commanding agent Hilary Jones barked at her fellow co-workers.

Agent Dana Lewis a.k.a. Star Morrison knew this was gonna be bad. Dean and Darren Porter managed to escape from prison with one thing on both of their minds: revenge.

"Any idea where they're headed?" Star jumped in.

"Manhattan. Both has axes to grind with Detective Olivia Benson of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. I believe they're gonna finish what they started," Agent Selena Hawthorne added.

"We're gonna have to notify her," Star reminded them.

"We know. But, we can't move in just yet. We don't know the extent of their revenge plot. That's why we're gonna send in two undercover agents to infiltrate the SVU squad, so they can keep their eyes on Benson at all times," Hilary announced.

"Okay, so who's going? I can't, because she knows me," Star stated.

"I know that, Star. Selena's going because she used to be a cop, but she worked in a different unit. Plus, I'm sending a male agent to watch her back," Hilary pronounced.

_Oh, God, how am I gonna tell my husband that I'm going back to my old stomping grounds? _Selena thought, shaking her head. Truth is, she loved being a cop, but bad memories plagued her. Especially since her oldest daughter was constantly involved. Especially since that night back in 1993 when her life was changed forever.

"I'll start packing," Selena said, looking at the two agents with a smile on her face. Then, she turned on her heel and left.

_God, I hope I'm doing the right thing, _she thought.

**I told you this was gonna kick off in a bight way! Stay tuned because the other characters will appear and Olivia will finally learn Dean and Darren's escape!**

**Please review!**


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